EDITORIAL: Snapchat is the Ruin of Man

Since the beginning of man, communication with the opposite sex has been a scrapbook of failure after failure.

Romeo and Juliet’s tragic ending was due in large part because Juliet said things like “Parting is such sweet sorrow that I shall say good night till it be morrow,” in comparison to Soulja Boy saying “Girl you know that I miss you, I just want to kiss you, but I can’t right now so kiss me through the phone.”

“What is she even saying?”

We know what Soulja Boy is saying. He is clear and direct; Juliet beats around the bush and ultimately winds up becoming one half of a double suicide.

Snapchat announced a new update yesterday that threatens to undo every inch of progress Soulja Boy, master of communication, has worked so hard to attain. If you have not seen it yet, Snapchat now allows a user to combine a quasi FaceTime with their temporary video sharing feature.

Basically Snapchat users can now send a short “note” within individual chats, which is the equivalent of an Instagram Boomerang video. Users can now also video chat, which operates as Snapchat’s face time. Users could already send videos to their friends, the difference now is that they can speak with their friends in real time, rather than snapping short video clips back and forth.

Men can’t even understand women when they say “parting is such sweet sorrow that I shall say good night till it be morrow,” much less figure out what a short video note from a girl would mean in regards to their relationship status.

We just started to figure out what the winky-face emoji means, now Snapchat wants us to figure out what an actual winking face means. This update is a curveball for all guys who are still trying to understand how to hit a straight forward fastball.

By Matt Mataxas

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